I've been plagued lately with no confidence in my work. It's been very frustrating, to say the least.
I'll be bumming around my house and out of nowhere, I'll think, "Ack, I haven't written a blog post in so long. Or an article. Or promoted my books. Or did marketing. Or worked on my own work in general."
And immediately following that thought, I'll think, "But whatever I do, it's not going to be good enough. I did that blog post in the past, and so-and-so did something similar, and they did it so much better than me." Or, "I already launched a bunch of books, and right now they're not selling like they should, and thats my fault."
Following with, "Yeah dummy, that's because you haven't worked on anything."
And then, "But anything I am going to do is going to fail."
I know those negative thoughts aren't true, but man is it hard to work up the motivation to promote my work and myself when my brain seems dead-set on focusing on my failures, rather than my successes.
(My anxiety is actually why, conversely, I do public speaking. Being in a place where people come up to me and tell me that my talk resonated with them, or that they have my books and they love them tames my brain's constant negative criticism of what I do. But this year I'm doing fewer speaking engagements, and I think my anxiety, as a result, is starting to catch up with me.)
Since I've been kicking myself for not writing and working on my own projects, I thought that I might as well journal my current feelings and thoughts, just to get them out there, just to get used to writing again.
Hi, I'm Tracy. This is what's currently going on in my brain.